Looking For What You Need
I’m looking for a mentor. Aren’t we all? Someone we can confide in. Someone we can trust with our deepest darkest secrets. We look for someone who will encourage us, build us up, teach us, walk alongside us and help us when we stumble and tell us, “It’s okay to stumble. Get back up and keep going.” We want someone who is touchable, available, who cares and isn’t afraid to get dirty with us in our walk of life.
I say that at two-thirty in the blessed a m while I’m wide awake, unable to sleep, pondering if I’m having a hot flash or if my husband’s body heat from his deeply slumbering body is keeping me awake… or if it’s the dog barking at God knows what out there in the dark that awoke me to find myself in need. Because there’s definitely a need along with a sweet little tune tinkling away in my mind this very moment:
Lord I need You,
Oh I need You!
Every hour I need You.
My one defense. . .
My righteousness. . .
Oh God, how I need You!
And I hear that still, small voice, ever so quietly whisper into my soul, “I’m your Mentor. It’s Me. Yet I’m anything but safe. Follow Me anyway.”
It’s now that I realize why I’m awake. I also realize Who woke me up. It wasn’t a hot flash, or my husband’s slumbering body heat, although he’s like a furnace when he sleeps. It wasn’t the dog barking, although his sharp little bark was helpful in breaking the crazy dream I was having. It was the Lord, waking me and placing the sweet little tune in my soul to remind me how much I need Him and to remind me that He wants to spend time with me. I’m not even angry that He woke me at two in the morning. How could I be?
I’ve been neglecting my time with Him. Oh I didn’t think I had been. I thought the little prayer here and there while going about my daily stuff was enough. It wasn’t. He demands my full attention. He requires I meet regularly with Him. Yet I was missing our appointments.
How can I possibly be mentored, be taught, if I never step into the classroom? How can I learn if I never open the Textbook? I can’t take for granted that my Mentor will automatically pour into me, knowledge, wisdom, that sense of well-being if I never take the time needed to actually LEARN from Him!
I’m humbled.
Is He mad at me? No. Is He disappointed in me? No. He just misses me. He knows how to get my attention. And I know full well why. So here I am; ready, willing, humbled, and ready to begin again. Do I have to start over from the beginning? No. Just pick up where I left off. My assignment is still waiting. It always been there. He’s always been there.
Like a toddler with a short attention span and a parent who patiently waits for her to refocus, so it is with the Lord and I. My squirrel moment gone, in the dead of night when there are no distractions of the day hounding me, vying for my attention, no interruptions, just me…and my Mentor.
“Are you ready to proceed?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I wandered off.”
“It’s okay. I love you. Shall we continue?”
*Sigh* “Yes. I’m ready.”
“Then let’s go.”
You know, He misses you too. You’ve been wandering long enough. You’ve been putting Him on the back burner long enough. You’re running yourself ragged, making excuses, trying to analyze and debate your way through life, complaining, looking for a mentor too. I know how it is. I’ve done it.
You’re trying to convince yourself that you can figure it out. There must be a better way. The answer is around her somewhere. If you can just do enough, help enough people, give enough, work enough, be kind enough, cook, clean, teach, volunteer… but it isn’t working for you is it.
You’re wearing yourself out when you don’t have to. Jesus is patiently waiting for you to stop running in circles and just give in to Him. He’s not mad at you. He’s not disappointed in you. He loves you dearly and He’s just waiting.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. He’s got it covered. You don’t have to clean up. He’ll do that. You don’t have to get yourself organized. He’s got your plan. Just stand still and say, “Okay. Here I am. I’m tired of running.” One step in His direction is all that’s needed. He’ll do the rest. He will meet you where you are. It’s that simple. It really is.
You’re looking for a mentor. Someone who will listen, who will care. Someone who will encourage you, build you up, teach you, walk alongside you and help you when you stumble and tell you, “It’s okay to stumble. Get back up and keep going.” You want someone who is touchable, available, who cares and isn’t afraid to get dirty with you in your walk of life.
Yeah, that’s the Lord. He’s anything but safe… and yet He’s the only One Who will keep you safe.
Are you ready? Then let’s go!
Are you ready? Then let’s go!
