When You Get Too Full of Yourself
Sometimes… well sometimes you just have a little thought pop into your head and you realize, wait a minute, something ain’t right. Yes, I know ain’tisn’t proper. But this gal is anything but proper… especially the last four-and-a-half-years.
Yeah, so I had a little thought pop into my head and I did realize that, oops, I’ve done gone and got full of myself. Not really the kind of full of myself that renders me nasty to others. Just neglectful, if that’s a real word (I’ll check the dictionary later for that one)*. Not only was I neglecting the housework (I’ve never really been very good at that anyway – but I promise I’m not a slob), but I was neglecting the smaller things like paying attention to the little people running around my house, the bigger people talking to me, and …the big one, I was neglecting God.
I used to get up early. I mean really, I’m a night owl so how could I stay up late and then get up early? I was excited about getting to talk to the Lord, that’s how. But lately I noticed that I slept later and later and when I would sit up in bed, I would try to croak out a small, but semi-heartfelt, “Thank You, Lord” as I would also try to get my brain to come up with something else to say to my Creator, my Savior, the One who not only gave His life for me, but saved me and then healed me! How could I possibly be ignoring Him? Yet I was.
I didn’t feel that closeness. I didn’t feel that connection. Yet here I was just days from beginning a ladies Bible study in my home, no less, and I wasn’t quite prepared spiritually for it. I knew I couldn’t just wing it. Nope. These ladies are perceptive if nothing else. Plus, they know me.
Bible study aside, I began to realize that when God changes you, He does it from the inside out. Therefore, people who have known you for long periods of time don’t readily see that change unless you allow it to eep out your pores, your breath, your everything. What’s even more difficult is when those same people won’t seem to allow you to be your new self. It’s difficult to maintain that newness, that sparkle, that excitement that only the Holy Spirit can stir within you.
Still, you must press on.
I guess my point to this madness is that people make mistakes. Just because I’m healed doesn’t mean that I don’t have trying times. It doesn’t mean that my life is perfect. I just admitted that it’s not. It also doesn’t mean that I’m crazy, need to be admitted to a mental ward, or even that I’m mentally unstable. None of those things are true and couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m perfectly stable and sane. I just stepped off the narrow path and my light dimmed a bit – the light that was lighting my path so I could see which way to go.
You know, in Romans it says that none of us are righteous (perfect). Not even one (Romans 3:10). It also states that “we all fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) So what are we to do, those of us who aren’t perfect? That means all of us, by the way. What are we to do? Oh, well here’s the simplest part – All we have to do in order to make things right again, not only in our lives but with the Lord is to humbly ask Him to forgive us for the things we’ve been doing. Confess it! Tell Him everything. It’s okay, He already knows anyway.
We think we’re so sneaky, but we aren’t. God sees everything. But the beauty of that is He is not mad at us. No, He’s not. He does love us however, regardless of the junk we have been trying to hide, the things we’ve been doing, saying, thinking, looking at, all of it. He loves us in spite of ourselves.
Look, I wouldn’t lie about this. I can’t. What I can do is tell you that we really can tell God everything and He promises to listen. Even better is that before you can ever begin to utter your repentance, He is already making everything right again both inside and outside of your heart.
“I cry out to the LORD; I plead for the LORD’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.” ~Psalm 142:1-2 (NLT)
Not sure? It’s okay. All it takes is just an nth of faith (that’s smaller than a mustard seed) and an inkling of trust that He’ll do what He said He would and when you utter the tiniest of, “I’m sorry, Lord,” He will hear you and forgive you. Oh, but lovelies He takes it one step further than that. When you honestly tell God you’re sorry and ask Him to forgive you, not only does He forgive but He even chooses to forget all that junk you confessed (Hebrews 8:12). So it’s forever gone! I love that part.
Now then… why are we still hanging around here, wallowing in our self-pity? Excuse me y’all but I’ve got Someone to go talk to.
Blessings!
Shelley
*P.S. – According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, neglectful is a real word. It means, not giving enough care or attention to someone or something. Hm… kinda hits you where you live, doesn’t it?
