Mending Fences
We all have broken fences. Those make us very unhappy. Wouldn’t we all love to have happiness all the time? We don’t though. But we could have an abundance. In my journey to forgiveness, it’s not just about asking the Lord to forgive me. I already have that. But it’s a journey for me to forgive others. Whether they choose to forgive me is upon them. I can’t make them forgive me. Many of them don’t want to. Many of them never will. They would rather lay the blame with me and leave it there. And I can’t worry about that. Because I have asked the Lord to forgive me. I also know the ones I can go to and ask them to forgive, and the ones whom I can’t go to. To do that would open up another venue for them to attack me once again, trying to oppress me. Now don’t think for one minute that I haven’t tried. I have. Don’t say to me, “Now Shelley, you need to keep trying…” It’s not about that. But the Lord has placed it upon me to write this and there is someone out there going through the same things that I have gone through. I’m here to tell you what God’s Word says about that so that you too, can mend your fences and find happiness within.
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” ~Psalm 16:11 (NIV)
There are people in your life that have caused division. I have them in mine. And I love most of those people… but here’s where it gets tricky. Even though I love those people, I can’t be around them. Because these are the people who pick at me, disguising it as “joking” and “not meaning anything by it” and who like to try to get a rise out of me, make me stumble, and when I do, laugh at me and say, “Well I THOUGHT you were supposed to be a goody-two-shoes Christian?” Christian yes, goody-two-shoes no.
“Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.” ~Romans 16:17-18 (NKJV)
I spent the morning on the phone with someone whom I adored when I was growing up. We had a wedge driven between us by family members we both loved dearly and whom are no longer with us. For several years we didn’t speak to each other because we each thought the other had a problem, but couldn’t figure out what we had done to each other to deserve being treated that way. YEARS of non-communication. YEARS of wondering why. YEARS of asking ourselves, “What did I do?” But each willing to let the other go because we had to move on with our own lives. However, because one of us made the move to reach out, we were now on speaking terms, but those questions still remained. Why? What did I do? But God directed the conversation and many things came out and both of us were surprised…and healed.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” ~Matthew 18:15 (NKJV)
There will be times when you know without a shadow of a doubt that the person who has hurt you will not receive what you have to say. They will take your confrontation and use it against you. This is a tragic loss. Because that person is close minded, and hard-hearted. There is something inside them that has turned cold. You must then turn them over to the Lord and let Him deal with them. Because there is not one thing you can do to make things right with that person. The hardest thing for me was to pray for those in my life who are that way. Because before, I wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt me. But I had to forgive. I had to get to that point. Having others pray for ME is what helped break through the years of hurt and oppression. God released me of it. I’m telling you today that the devil will oppress you in any way he can to keep you from mending fences, whether it’s with others or within yourself, or with the Lord.
“Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.” ~1 Peter 5:8-9 (HCSB)
You are NOT alone! That’s one reason why I’m writing this. Because I’ve been there. I will repeat this many, many times: God healed me of a lifetime of oppression, intimidation, and hurts. I’m coming out of the pit, out of the fog, and it’s a new day! Those who have unforgiveness in their hearts will not understand that, but those of you seeking to find what I did WILL find it! Believe it. Receive it. Mend your fences and be healed.
