Short-Circuited
When I was fifteen years old, I slipped into a severe state of depression. It literally felt as if a giant boulder came and deposited itself on my chest and shoulders. Feelings of despair, hopelessness, fear – no, terror, and many negative things crept into my mind. I literally felt as if the world was going to come to an end and I was going to be left behind. I have absolutely no idea why I felt like that.
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| Pic ©123rf.com – Text ©shelleywilburn.org |
The reason I can remember it is because I dealt with it… alone… for many years. Yes, years! Because when I slipped into it, I got no help at all. There was no medical help for me. I was never taken to the doctor. I was told that I would be committed to a mental institution. I was told the only person who could help me was me. I was yelled at to straighten up. Then ultimately the inevitable happened; my situation, I was told, was my fault. I brought it all on myself.
I tried to pray. I tried to trust Jesus. But it just wasn’t working. I was short-circuited. How, you might ask? Unbelief. Even after I had asked Jesus into my heart, had trusted Him as my Lord and Savior, some things just didn’t work for me. The main two were my continual spiral into depression and my struggle with my weight. I had a short in the circuitry of my faith that was preventing the Lord from helping me. It prevented Him from working His miracles in me!
“When your faith is not working, there is unbelief present somewhere.” ~Creflo Dollar
It took literally thirty years to finally splice my circuits together to see results! That is a very long time to deal with mental and emotional issues. But I honestly did not know that it was unbelief that was preventing me from having the life God intended for me to have! Not that I didn’t believe in Jesus. I did. I do! But I had this little doubt that He could help me with my mind. Remember, I was always told it was my fault. I literally had to have intervention by people whom the Lord had prepared to intervene for me. Because of their faith, they helped me to have faith and to believe that maybe, just maybe, God could heal me. And He did!
“…This faith was given to you because of the justice and fairness of Jesus Christ, our God and Savior.” ~1 Peter 1:1(b) NLT
After God healed my mind and healed me from the years of mental and emotional intimidation and oppression, I began to grow and learn. It was literally as if a veil had been lifted and I was stepping into a brand new me! And the first time I came under spiritual attack after that healing, I could literally feel my faith kick into gear. I knew I was being attacked spiritually. But I could also feel it being deflected off my faith. There was a shield over my heart and the attacks were literally bouncing off that shield (see my post, “Shields Up!”). God was giving me a physical demonstration of how He was helping me overcome the very things I used to allow to control me. That, in turn, helped build my faith even more!
What about you? What things are in your life, preventing God from working miracles in you? What unbelief is short-circuiting your faith? Don’tcha think it’s time to lay those aside and finally let God handle them?
